Collection of Old Poetry

so easy we thought
to find a weak spot 
how easy we were taught
pouring single words of love would be to 
reinforce an ideology 
that these simple things 
could fix a person

but now i wonder if:

would it be better to rip a chest open and plant a blossoming garden would be better then forcing shut a wound with treads of golden force

.

.

.
Pace, pace, pace

Rhythm of slapping feet

No where, no where

Oh I am just silent outside revenue

Tight throat;

Oh god I’m screaming

Validation, validated.

Please, daffodils, please

.

.

.

Words spoken as if

Vacant lots in a closed 
Down town

Was my manifest destiny

No means of translation 
Or altercations

Clear blue cruising day one

Sinking ships today

Tomorrow to today

“I love you I love you

Don’t forget that I love”

Seems a little bit more like

“I’m scared to let go”

.

.

.
Escaping an unraveling

Knotted tethered noose

Fingers clasped tightly

My grandmothers heart necklace

Throbbing little knots

Rug burn craving

Into weathered palms

Hold on just right.

.

.

.
Pressing my palms together

For a second searching for light

To fill fallen cracks with

Something that could fix it for some time

Waking mid-night to think again

About distant past memories

Tell myself once more

That this person I remember had past

I cover my naked cracks

Daffodils, pansies, and vermillion lilacs

I cover a stone statue 
With appearances of aliveness

A beautiful moment though is

When weeds begin to erode stone

Creating space between something once so cold

And replacing it with something so warm.

.

.

.

Throw me a line

Referring to the right word

Not the best nor

The worse at these things

Over and over

Pacing familiar halls

Opening and shutting

Similar feeling doors

Lock them once ajar

Self promises to

Never revisit this place

.

.

.

“Lipstick stained mugs

Breathe tinted with

Smoke and liquor

Sunsets and sunrises

Nothing more and nothing less

All I could ask from you is

Is to pour me a cup and lit the end

And stay for a chat ”

.

.

.

she had been a

forest craved out

set blazing bright

burnt and destroyed 

beauty and glory stolen

till one day

you met her at midnight

so careful to plant a new garden

.

.

.

“One day you’ll realize you can’t keep hating yourself

”
Peeled potatoes skins
”

Sliver slicing throw beige bodies

“You can’t hate yourself forever” 

11 and I have my first drink

A drink to forget turns into

Pills to not feel at 12

At 13, my stomach matches

The void of where a child use to be

And then 15 I fill myself with

Affections and love from forgien men

I am 18 now and I still am trying to

Figure out how to not hate myself

.

.

.

i am not a whole 
nor am i broken

but instead

I am many little people

strewn together

sometimes so tightly 
and in other

loose like lacey fabric 

i do not know how to feel about this

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Why I Became A Spiritual Coach 

                                            
Sometimes it feels unreal to me that I live the way I do. It’s odd to mirror the world that lives inside me. Lately I’ve been asked the same question by everyone I speak with and all my clients as to how and why I decided to go from a tarot reader to a spiritual coach. 

And at first, it took me a second to really think about this question. Why did I decide to switch gears? Is it because I’m falling out of love with reading? Of course not, I will always love reading tarot and plan on contuining reading professionally. But I discovered that my tarot readings don’t completely fill me up the way they did in the first place.

My drive is to touch and change as many lives as I can, actively changing the narrative and dialogue of the world around us. To teach people to be more loving, understanding, and welcoming, but also teach them how to actively do this in their own lives. 

Teaching people not to fear change- but to open up to it and let it in. To help people through their struggles, whether this manifests in a spiritual, mental, sexual, and physical issue. To help people move past blockages and to move past old patterns in their lives.

I want to help raise self awareness and awareness to what’s around us.

Yet, why do I hold this so dear to me? I’ve been through it. But unlike my clients, they don’t have to do it alone. A lot of my issues were due to isolating myself. It is also not having the tools to go out and look for help. It’s not having a real mentor who understood what was going on to me.
Our society is going through a very odd shift- and a lot of people are struggling to shift with it. I see things in society that I do not like, and instead of waiting around for someone else to do it, I want to be apart of what’s good for our society.

I want to help people transform. I want to guide people. I want to spread love and postivitu because I have lived with so much hate and darkness. To resolved hate and anger is my biggest goal for my clients- to be able to productively alter their reality in a good way.