Yes, I went to Rehab and it’s none of your business.

When you put your business online- you are going to be critized once and awhile. In my time of being a blogger I’ve had my fair share of not so great fed back. Some people don’t accept my spiritual and religious approach, and some people don’t agree with my approach to recovery. My maturity is to the point where at time I can accept to agree to disagree.

When it comes to writing about addiction- I can get protective. It has been for a long time my most sensitive topic. For the longest time talking about my own addiction has brought me a great deal of shame, and have for a long time worked towards keeping distance from it. It has taken a great amount of healing to discuss it openly.

For awhile I got nothing but positivity about, support about it, and kind words about it. But recently my worse nightmare occurred.

Someone used it against me.

For about a day it put me in a bad mood, a funk, and could feel myself getting lower, lower, lower. The truth is- it struck me really, really hard. 

Though the real truth is- it’s not your business. It’s no one freaking business but MINE. While I write about recovery and my experience- it’s no ones but my business to talk about. If my words help you, I have done my job. But if you want to use it against me- have fun because your input is irrelvant. 

Whether or not I did go- it’s not your topic to bring. It’s not your business to spread. An addicts story is theirs to talk about- it’s not for you or about you. 

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What You Should Know About Recovery 

Recovery from mental illness and addiction is a highly hot seat topic- but it’s one that needs to be discussed. Beyond being a rough conversation since it’s such an emotional topic- it’s a very complicated topic. There are so many studies, so many treatments, and a HUGE gap in open mindedness. 
So what’s the truth about it? Recovery comes with a lot of ugliness. It comes with varied truths. It comes with such a vast amount of work. When I was in college for Addiction Therapy there was a plethora of studies, case files, and text I had to read from. There were a lot of nights where I would stay up into the middle of the night combing through my textbooks to find answers.
You want to know the hard truth about recovery? There is no catch all, no strict path you can take.  There will be no catch all, be all. And you want to know what, it’s going to take a couple times to figure out what works for you. It’s going to be a whirl wind of let’s down and disappointment.
Besides from my education- I’ve spent a long time trying to figure out what way is up and what way is down. I had to figure out from there, which way would work for me. Let me tell you, that itself was a project that took years. 
It took me awhile to trust myself, than to believe in myself, and then to act on it. It was lessons, on lessons, and on lessons. It was constantly picking myself up off the ground, and then having to forgive myself for what felt like the stupidest mistakes.
The truth about recovery though- is that you have the find the truth about yourself. It’s finding your authenticity- exploring it, and then growing it. It’s something only you can truly find out for yourself. 

5 Lessons I Learned From Recovery

After enduring a traumatic childhood that subjected me to both a gnarly drug addiction and eating disorder- it wasn’t until I dedicated myself to my recovery that I found two things: 1) relief 2) how to start living.

I’ve talked before about what it’s like to be six years clean, but there are a couple lessons that I hold dearly to me and if your recovering from anything it could help you too.

Recovery isn’t just for addicts- anyone can go through a moment where they need to refocus, recharge, and restart in their life. 

So here it is, my five lessons to pass on to you:

1. Breathe.

In the last six years of being clean I had convinced myself that the only way I would make it through is if I held my breathe and just shoved myself through what felt like air right cracks. All this did though was lead me to multiple internal crisis incidents (shout out to my friends and family for putting up with my breakdowns with such grace) and a lot of lost time. It’s okay to take a moment to breathe and collect yourself.

2. Cut Those Ties

We all know drug friends or narcissist friends are just SO great and SO hard to replace, but when it comes to shedding our skin it’s also time to shed some friends. We associate people with time and events- and if these people are at the center of the problems it’s most likely a sign this friendship or relationship has very much expired. 

3. Find Your Niche

The less free time you have the best in the beginning- having a project or hobby that really fills you with joy is a good place to start in recovery. 

My now business stemmed from just that- a recovery project. When I started going through my process of getting clean and sober I started blogging about lifestyle and spirituality- and now look, it’s what I do for a living.

4. Groups aren’t the enemy.

Groups are such a vital part of recovery- and when I first got clean I refused to participate. It’s odd to look back and think , “how did I ever think no one would get it?!” 

Groups are great for keeping you reminded that you’re not alone and that their are people who get you. It gives you a network in case you are feeling weak- and brings you together with like minded people.

Groups are great because you can even join them anonymously on the web through chats and forums.

5. Don’t Wait To Start Living

Dude- worse mistake. You don’t have to be a certain amount past in your recovery to deserve some relaxation. With recovery- every day sober or “”moved”” on should be a mini celebration- otherwise recovery is met with the attitude of it being a chore.
Sincerely ,

Alexis DiOrio

(For topic requests please email me at Alexis.DiOrio1996@gmail.com)

Simple Self-Care Acts to Change Your Day

“I am a mom on a mission” has been my most used phrase lately- because really, my wheels never stop going. But after my recent vacation from work and social media I left with a lot of very, very important lessons. One was- the importance of really making sure my self-care routine is respected.

For the first year of my son’s life- man, did I really stop taking care of myself. There were times where I forgot when the last time a bathe was. Yikes, right?

So the last month I have dedicated myself to my self-care, but what if you’re on the go, busy bee?

One thing I do for myself is make sure my hair is done, my face is clean, and my teeth are brushed. You’re probably like, “wow that’s gross you have to remind yourself to do this.” But I’ve noticed that these three things are often popularly forgotten and need to put on higher respect.

If you suffer from depression- you probably understand this all to well. It is often to easily put off to the side for us who have depression. So how do I fit my minimalist self care into my life?

I made a 10 minute routine because the faster the better. Sometimes I even do all of them in the shower so all of it is taken care of at once. (Yes you heard that, I even brush my hair in the shower.) I motivate myself by telling myself that yes, I WILL feel damn well better after I do this. This is also repeated right before bed- minus the shower. Why? Because it’ll lend hand in starting the day feeling just a little less gross.

Another way to fit in a small but effective self care act is vitamins. I pledge allegiance to the magically power of vitamins. We’ve all tried to eat nutritionally, but even when we try we still don’t always manage to get the right amount of vitamins into our body- and man ever since I started taking my vitamins (I take 12 a day!) I have had more energy, my skin is better, my hair has grown like a weed, and my nails are longer than ever.

Nutrition is often forgotten when we discuss self-care- we will usually discuss the frills and decor of what self-care is- taking bubble baths, doing facial masks, and painting our nails- but that is not realistic daily self-care. This is not what gets us day to day- these are what I consider- luxury self-care.

One of my favorite ways to practice self care is to protect my mental status with grounding and mindfulness. Taking a second to remind myself that I am actually alive and not a zombie going through the motions. Taking ten minutes max to truly feel something and just be is the most important thing to me- out of all the things I have mentions. I will literally take a minute and smell these goddamn roses!

 

 

How I Changed My Life- For the Best

For people who know me, they can testify for me about what a large life transformation I’ve gone through the last two years. I am much healthier, much happier, and so much more balanced. It’s taken me a really long time since getting clean to really detox from the addict mindset.

Even with being clean there was still that tricky, I-Am-More-Clever-Than-You attidude I had, which had a deadly mixture with all avoidance of the fact that I was in fact an addict.

After I quit- I thought that was the freeing card. No more work- what a fool was I ! Yes- that is right, my mind set was once I was clean it would all slowly fall into place.

So wrong- so totally freaking wrong.

It took me almost 6 long years to learn that if the change I wanted was to come- it was going to have to be achieved through my own sweat, blood, and tears.

So how did I change my life? I accepted I had fucked up- yes I fucked up. And to be honest- I was still messing up pretty bad.

When I finally did that- I was able to look into the mirror and really, really examine my choices and behaviors. And what struck me was: Even though I wasn’t using, I was still acting like an active addict.

It was now time to release all of those behaviors and self defeating thoughts I let clutter my life.

And that is what changed my life. Taking a real close look at myself in the mirror and not liking who I still was.